Frustrated

This is kind of a venting post, so those of you who don't like venting should probably stop reading now.


I'm really frustrated right now with things, some in my weight loss and getting healthier progression and some in other aspects.  I usually try to stay positive and let stuff roll off my back but somedays enough is enough.

I am very frustrated with work right now.  I was given the oppurtumity to move up into management recently.  Quit my part time job and accepted the position of scheduling coordinator.  Now due to what is being called a "scheduling conflict" I wont be able to start the new job or get the attached raise for "an indeterminate" amount of time.  So I'm out the money from the part time gig and don't want to start a new job since this one could open up any time.

I'm frustrated that I'm eating like I'm supposed to and working out every day, sometimes twice a day and the weight isn't coming off faster. Not to say other healthy things aren't happening - I'm down to one blood pressure pill a day instead of the 4 meds I was taking and I've been off the blood sugar meds since before Oct 2012 and my sugars are excellent now. And my scale says I've lost 2.5% body fat even though I havent lost tons of weight.  I'd just love to lose like they do on Biggest Loser, hitting double digits instead of a pound or two a week.

I'm tired of being judged by my weight.  I am more than a number on a scale.  I try to be a kind and compassionate person.  I'm a good nurse.  I'm a good wife and mother. I'm more than just a "fat chic" or a "fattie".  Someone I know has been making a lot of fat chic jokes lately and it hurts me.  I know I should just let it go but I get so tired of that being the measuring stick.  I should just ignore it, but those words cut deep. I work hard. Most days I get up at 4am so I can work out before I go to work.  I work long shifts, sometimes 10 and 12  hours, most of it on my feet.  I care for people, which involves more than just giving pills, it takes really paying attention to them, listening, plus the physically demanding part of turning, lifting helping transfer patients, as well as dealing with family members and doctors plus cleaning up a myriad of bodily fluids on a daily basis.  I come home (with 2 or 3 days requiring a stop to get my daughter from school first) start dinner, check homework, do dishes or laundry or vacuuming the floor or whatever other chores need done around the house, and usually I squeeze another workout in before bed at 10 or 11.  I know skinny chics who don't work nearly that hard. I'm lucky that I have a husband that looks passed the number on the scale to see the woman I am.  I'm thankful he loves me despite the fact I'm a "fattie".  I'm working on losing weight and getting healthier so keep your fat jokes to yourself.