Another new beginning

I fell off the wagon last week.  I ate fast food and sweets...lots of them.  I drank soda and sweet tea, gallons of it. I didn't exercise at all.  Part of it was depression from my pain.  My back and hip have been almost unbearable.  I try not to make a fuss but its some of the worst pain I've ever had.  I don't like to take the muscle relaxers or the pain medicine.  It makes me too fuzzy.  So I just grit my teeth and try to power thru.

Michael has been a saint thru it.He's picked up the slack at home and been patient with me as I struggle.  He doesn't nag at me about what I eat or don't; he doesn't say a word about whether I exercise or not.  He is just loving and supportive no matter what.  Which makes me feel even worse when I fail.

I'm back on track this week though.  I fasted and detoxed on Saturday, ate healthy on Sunday, and started exercising today.  I managed to ride 30 minutes this morning, almost 10 miles. I walked again this evening, 2.74 miles.  The hip and back pain is still there, a little better than it has been maybe.

Trying to get the diet back on track.  I still struggle with that.  I've been trying to stay away from dairy and gluten and sugar.  which is exactly as hard as it sounds.  Add to that the fact I'm still doing the intermittent fasting and well, some days it equals grumpy Kim.  Tonight is a very grumpy night.  At least Michael is doing the fasting with me.  It does make it a little easier.

May 20

So we are more than half way through May.  This year has really gone fast.It's hard to believe sometimes how fast time flies by.  Just a quick update on things before I head into work.

The life style changes are all going pretty well.  Have been fasting on Mon, Wed, and Fri with Michael, though so far we pretty much only manage a 24 hour fast.  Eat dinner Sun night, then nothing til dinner Monday...not bad, though the plan is to eventually get where we eat Sun dinner, then nothing til Tues am.  It's a slow process though.  My weight is down a bit and seems to be pretty stable.  I'm happy for that, but wish it would just keep going down.

I can't complain about the scale not moving down though because I've really had to cut back on the exercise because of my back.  I'm still going to the chiropractor but this weekend it didn't seem to have helped at all.  Chronic pain in the lower back and right hip.  Sits at about a 5 or 6/10 on the pain scale and movement really causes it to flair up.  Not taking anything for it but some ibuprofen from time it time, but I'm starting to think that's just not going to cut it.  Going to try to get out of work early today and see my regular md.

Things with the job are settling into a routine.  I still have trouble getting everything done sometimes but it's better and I'm not so stressed about it.  If I can hang in long enough to make it through my review I might actually be okay.

Things with Michael are great, but he's a great kind of guy so I can't complain on that front.  Xandra is sweet and my Kel is doing well with her job and in school.  I guess over all, other than the back pain life is good.

One day at a time...

I've mentioned before I've been doing intermittent fasting for the last couple months. Basically it breaks down to 8 hours a day I'm allowed to eat and 16 that I'm fasting.  It's really not as horrible as it sounds.  Part of the time I'm fasting is when I'm asleep.  I really didn't eat after dinner before, so really all I changed is not eating so early in the day.  Generally I eat sometime between 11am and noon and I finish dinner no later than 8pm.  I'm usually not hungry in the morning anyway.  I used to make myself eat because the old school of thinking is that you need to eat breakfast, most important meal of the day and all that.  

So far it seems to be working well as a diet tool.  I've lost 25 pounds since I started dieting with the if.  I don't really get hungry with it and I haven't really changed much of what I'm eating.  I've cut back on dairy, I don't eat it at home at all due to Michael's allergy and rarely when we are out.  I've cut back on carbs a little bit, but I still enjoy them. Not so much on the white bread, but I do eat whole wheat, potatoes and beans.  

I've done a little more research and so has Michael, into the benefits of fasting on a more long term basis.  According to what I've read, fasting 2 days a week is supposed to be one of the healthiest things you can do. It supposedly will lower blood pressure, regulate your blood sugar and in studies with lab mice it has increased their life span by about 70%.  It also is supposed to stabilize your weight.  The studies I've read say if you fast 2 days a week you can eat anything you want the other 5 days and you still get all the benefits to your blood sugar and blood pressure.  

So, starting in May, I decided to fast for 48 hours a week.  Nothing I've read really seems to say whether the 2 days have to be consecutive or not.  I fasted for 48 hours this week, continuing to exercise like normal.  My plan is to fast 2 days and continue the intermittent fasting the other 5.  My weight is down by 3 pounds and my blood pressure and blood sugars have been good.  I'm still taking my blood pressure meds though.  The edema in my legs is better.  Overall I feel good.  

I'll likely update this weekly as I go.  I'm sure fasting isn't for everyone but it seems to be a good fit for me.

Time flies

April is almost over.  Four months of the year in.  A third of the way into the year.  Time really flies.

Things have been hectic with me.  I started a new job at Miller's and it is a lot more challenging than I expected.  I'm learning a lot but I struggle sometimes with the sheer amount that I have to get done in one day.  It's never an 8 hour day any more, which I feel is placing a small strain on Michael and I.  Stress wins frequently, leaving me frazzled and over emotional.  I love working for Miller's though and don't want to change companies again.  Just need to figure out how to better organize my day I suppose.

On the weight loss front things are going well.  I'm down 20 pounds since the beginning of the year and am 61 pounds from reaching my goal weight.  For those of you that have been following for a bit I've lost 54 pounds total so I'm almost half way there.  I still don't always make the best food choices but the intermittent fasting still seems to be a good fit for me.

Off the exercise train for a while.  I've managed to get a pinched sciatic nerve which is causing me some pain.  For my nursing friends out there I'd rate it a 2/10 when I'm not moving, but changing positions, especially from seated to standing will crank that up to an 8 or 9.  It will quiet down to around a 4 once I've been up and walking a bit.  I finally broke down and went to see a chiropractor, who also says I have a degenerative disc in my back.  I had kind of guessed that with the chronic back pain.  One more reason why getting in shape and being generally more fit and healthy is so important.

I try not to whine too much about pain and work, so I'm going to focus on the positive things.  I have a husband that I adore, who, amazingly,  loves me right back.  I have 3 children whom I love very much. I am blessed to still have my parents with me, even if they live far away and I miss not seeing them more often. I have a great sister.  Michael's family is wonderful. I have some really amazing friends.   I have a job with a great company in an economy when so many are out of work.  I am really, really blessed.

Quick update

So far the changes I've made this year are going well.  I'm still off of soda and sweet tea.  Still exercising every day and sometimes twice a day.  Have been able to cut back on the number of pills I'm taking.  The intermittant fasting is really pretty easy once I got into the habit and my blood pressure and blood sugars have been good.

Still struggling with cutting back on the carbs and cutting back on calories.  Not quite sure how I'm going to make that happen, though overall my food choices are a lot better than they used to be.  Also want to start some strengt training.  Am actually thinking about a gym and a personal trainer.  Just not sure where I'd find the time for it or the money.  Another nurse I work with wants me to come take jujitsu classes.  Swears it's a blast.  I'm not so sure.  Think it might be a case of wanting to watch me get knocked on my ass.

The number are the scale really isn't going down much over all.  About 10 pounds so far, though to be honest I had a rough couple days, broke down and ate bad and didn't exercise and had to relose 8pounds, so I suppose technically I've lost 18 total, but 10 overall.  I just keep plugging away at it.  Eventually I'll have to start seeing some real results right?

Frustrated

This is kind of a venting post, so those of you who don't like venting should probably stop reading now.


I'm really frustrated right now with things, some in my weight loss and getting healthier progression and some in other aspects.  I usually try to stay positive and let stuff roll off my back but somedays enough is enough.

I am very frustrated with work right now.  I was given the oppurtumity to move up into management recently.  Quit my part time job and accepted the position of scheduling coordinator.  Now due to what is being called a "scheduling conflict" I wont be able to start the new job or get the attached raise for "an indeterminate" amount of time.  So I'm out the money from the part time gig and don't want to start a new job since this one could open up any time.

I'm frustrated that I'm eating like I'm supposed to and working out every day, sometimes twice a day and the weight isn't coming off faster. Not to say other healthy things aren't happening - I'm down to one blood pressure pill a day instead of the 4 meds I was taking and I've been off the blood sugar meds since before Oct 2012 and my sugars are excellent now. And my scale says I've lost 2.5% body fat even though I havent lost tons of weight.  I'd just love to lose like they do on Biggest Loser, hitting double digits instead of a pound or two a week.

I'm tired of being judged by my weight.  I am more than a number on a scale.  I try to be a kind and compassionate person.  I'm a good nurse.  I'm a good wife and mother. I'm more than just a "fat chic" or a "fattie".  Someone I know has been making a lot of fat chic jokes lately and it hurts me.  I know I should just let it go but I get so tired of that being the measuring stick.  I should just ignore it, but those words cut deep. I work hard. Most days I get up at 4am so I can work out before I go to work.  I work long shifts, sometimes 10 and 12  hours, most of it on my feet.  I care for people, which involves more than just giving pills, it takes really paying attention to them, listening, plus the physically demanding part of turning, lifting helping transfer patients, as well as dealing with family members and doctors plus cleaning up a myriad of bodily fluids on a daily basis.  I come home (with 2 or 3 days requiring a stop to get my daughter from school first) start dinner, check homework, do dishes or laundry or vacuuming the floor or whatever other chores need done around the house, and usually I squeeze another workout in before bed at 10 or 11.  I know skinny chics who don't work nearly that hard. I'm lucky that I have a husband that looks passed the number on the scale to see the woman I am.  I'm thankful he loves me despite the fact I'm a "fattie".  I'm working on losing weight and getting healthier so keep your fat jokes to yourself. 

Consistancy...

...is my nemesis when it comes to dieting.  Bigger than chocolate or soda or cheeseburgers or any specific kind of food.  I can start any kind of diet and be completely on board for a week, maybe 2 if it's easy to follow.  The next week or so ends up with a pseudo-following of the diet, little cheats and tweaks to the diet.  By the time I've been following the diet for a month or more it's rare that I'm still actually following the diet at all.

    This is why this year I decided not to diet at all this year in order to meet my weight loss and health goals.  I'm simply making small changes to improve my health and being consistant with them.  So far I have been consistant in giving up soda and sweet tea, and taking my vitamins and medications, exercising daily and drinking more water. 

     This week I began working on a change called intermittant fasting.  The basic premise is to fast for 16 hours and eat during an 8 hour window.  According to some studies eating this way is more natural for humans and can lower blood pressure and blood sugar and reduce risks of alzheimers.  Combined with eating at a calorie deficient (about 30% below your daily recommended calories) some scientists believe it can even increase the human life span.

     I don't know how much of that I actually believe, but I ate on that schedule all last week, Mon to Sat.  It's a lot easier than I though it  would be.  After the first day I didn't feel really hungry at all during the fasting portion.  After a couple days it seemed pretty normal.  I didn't change what I ate, only the times I was allowed to eat. 

     This week I'm going to start imposing some calorie restrictions.  I don't think I'll eliminate any specific kind of food, but will be limiting the number of calories and net carbs consumed within the 8 hour period.  I'm not cutting back to a crazily low number of calories, I do like to eat after all, but just reducing them by a bit.  The week after I'll be introducing some strength training to go along with my daily cardio, then I'll reassess the calorie restriction and see if I think it's sufficient. 

     The small changes I've made haven't given me the intital big number weight losses that I'm used to when I start a traditional diet, but so far this year I've lost 9 pounds since the first of the year.  That's about 3 pounds a week though, which is really pretty good.